Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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