who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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