The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
