I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
