you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
