who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
