I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
