i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i've created a new STD.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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