another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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