I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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