I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
worst night to have a conscience
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
