Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
