the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Randomize
