I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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