His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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