Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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