If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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