She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
