I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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