Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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