I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
