You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
