I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
