Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize