How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
