Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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