if i died would you start the facebook group?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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