margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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