Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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