check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
