just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
