I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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