Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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