4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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