Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
