i jhust puked up my retainher.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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