The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
