i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
time to smoke my breakfast
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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