Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
