don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
