I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The air was thick with penises
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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