I heard we made out
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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