I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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