oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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