Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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