I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
