i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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