his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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