420 ftw
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
