If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
