hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
