did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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