But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
