I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
