similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize