I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
