the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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