The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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