Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
