im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize