No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
