a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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