I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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